Bernard Schaffer

When Bernard pulled "Wait and Wait" from his youtube channel he told me he would send me another poem to replace it for this event. I thought he had, but I was mistaken. (We've both been really busy.) So I swiped this one from his Knife Fights collection because I really like it. (How could I not? It begins with a football reference!)

Meh. He probably won't even notice. And if I smile pretty he'll forgive me almost anything. He's good like that.

Anyhow, if you click on the title, you'll be able to see Bernard himself read his words. Check out the tat while you're at it. That's one reason Courtney Cantrell and I call him SGTB.

A NIGHT AT THE FIGHTS

Knife Fights is currently available
on Amazon for kindle 

It is always fourth and inches

always knee deep in the mud

always lost somewhere behind enemy lines

always a bill collector calling

always the ex-wife demanding more.

Every day a new dictum from on high

based on whim

based on fragile, vicious egos.

It is always too late

too much to ask and too soon to talk about it

always nobody who wants to get involved

or losing heart and abandoning ship.

So there you are

alone again

steering into choppy water

crashing into rocks with wind and hail that blinds you

binding yourself to the ship's helm

so that if it overturns

you go down with it

and if it doesn't, somehow,

you live to fight another day.

It is always the final round

and you are always down in the judge's scorecards

none of it is easy

stop wishing it was

none of it is fair

don't expect it to be.

When I arrive at my destination

I'll have lost no little amount of blood

and all of my scars

will map the road I traveled to get there.

It is always someone else's turn

their destiny

their fated time to shine

but while those anointed ones

are patiently waiting for their hand-out

we'll be running them over

in diesel trucks made of iron will and sweat-soaked effort.

While you wait for it

we'll take it.

People ask me if I ever sleep

well I don't

I paste pictures of my enemies' faces

to black painted walls

in windowless rooms and

I stare at them for hours on end

and I get ready.

I get ready.

I get ready.

Bernard J. Schaffer is the bestselling author of Superbia, Superbia 2, Guns of Seneca 6, and Whitechapel: The Final Stand of Sherlock Holmes among others. He is also the founder of the Kindle All-Stars, a royal pain in the ass, and one of my favorite people on the planet. Follow him on twitter @apiarysociety or visit his website www.apiarysociety.com.

My 100th post (Warning: contains bad words)

It's not every day you hit a milestone. This one is huge for me. It's my 100th blog post. Therefore, I knew I had to make sure it was something special. Easy peasy.

When I began assembling this collection, I made sure our fearless leader was in the loop. He was in the midst of finishing off the Resistance Front anthology, writing the novel (Superbia) that he knew could destroy his career as a police detective, and probably trying to decide what to get his kids for Christmas.

So the last thing I expected to see in my email was a poem from him. He said he wanted to show his support, that I didn't have to use it if I didn't like it or didn't want to. I don't think he realized how much that simple act meant to me.

By the way, as I'm sitting here writing this introduction, he's sitting in PA revising the darn thing...again. Writers.

If you click on the poem's title, you'll be whisked away to Bernard's Youtube page where you'll have the unique treat of watching the man himself read the poem, a slightly different version than you'll read below, which is a slightly different version than you'll read in his collection Knife Fights. That same video got him sent back to uniform.

We later discussed this post and I was going to use a different one from the Knife Fights collection, but I noticed that Bernard had re-posted the video and asked his permission to use it. He replied, "Sure. We can do wait and wait. Fuck em!"

WAIT AND WAIT

Superbia is available on Amazon
for your Kindle and in print

(originally titled WEIGHT)

by Bernard Schaffer

Waiting for the dealer to arrive

they are always late

moving through life with

no need to be concerned about

the overtime that is accruing or

the women who are growing impatient while their men

sit in trash covered cars

pissing into empty coffee cups

because the dealer might arrive at any moment

and

their customers will wait and wait

just grateful for the fix they bring whenever they

feel like showing up.

The buy money is pre-recorded

the CI is searched

the team is given the operational plan and

everyone is in their assigned positions.

I am always calm

always need to piss again

always need more coffee

always waiting for the transaction that will take

ten seconds to happen

so that after it is sold

and brought back to me

I can secure it, photograph it

record it, bag it

tag it, and produce it later at court.

The dealer will make me wait

and I will oblige him for now

but

when it is my turn

to go and see him

I will be right on time.

Bernard Schaffer is the best-selling author of Guns of Seneca 6, Whitechapel: The Final Stand of Sherlock Holmes, and more.  Visit his website at www.ApiarySociety.com

Because I can't resist, here's the first bio B sent me:

Bernard Schaffer is most amazingly awesome muhfukka on the planet.  Give him the rock when there are ten seconds left on the clock and he’ll take it to the hole.  Guaranteed.  He doesn’t need a link.  The internet was invented to showcase him.  Word.