Versatile Blogger? ME? Aw, shucks!

Okay. . .so. . .um. . .where to begin?  I know, I'm rarely at a loss for words.  If you've ever read one of my emails, you already know it too.  And my posts here are no different...  In fact, I once had an English professor look at me after issuing an assignment to the class for seven pages and say, "ONLY seven pages, Laurie."  I still gave him ten.  (But I also still got an A.)  So what's the deal here?  Well, I'm not one for viral videos, chain letters, and the like. . .and some people love blog awards, and some group them with the aforementioned banes of my existence.  Anyhow, I have mixed feelings about this whole deal.

Don't get me wrong; I AM honored and grateful.  Perhaps I should start at the beginning before my former Prof stumbles across my blog and says, "Hey, I remember that one!"

Angel, a very well named fellow blogger and wonderful all-around human being (NO, I'm not just saying that; read her blog! Besides, I'm a Sagittarius.  I don't have it in me to offer false compliments!) was given this award and thereby obligated to pass it on.  I was one of the recipients.  And just in case she hasn't already heard it:  Thank you, Angel.  You are truly a dear and I'm honestly thrilled that you think highly enough of my humble writing to bestow such an honor upon it.

So here's my dilemma. . .As the recipient of this award, I'm expected to do three things:

1. Thank the award giver
2. Tell you 7 interesting things about myself
3. Give the award to 15 fellow bloggers

I have no problem with #s 1 and 2, but 3 is an issue for me.  Thanking the award giver is a no-brainer; even if it wasn't in the rules, I'd do that.  Hang on a sec.  *runs off to Angel's blog to make sure I posted a comment of thanks before I post any links so I don't look like a complete jerk*

Okay, so #2, here goes:

1.  I learned to read at the age of three and promptly developed a voracious appetite for books, but I mostly binge read these days.  (I'll devour books for weeks on end then not read for a year.)

2.  I almost failed eighth grade English because my teacher sucked.  Now before you freak out at my criticism of the most important profession in our civilization, let me clarify; read on.  The teacher in question spent an entire semester assigning reading, then quizzing our class on the reading assignment.  That's all we did!  For an ENTIRE semester!  IMHO, that is the laziest way to "teach."  (added 9/14 Just to clarify, the teacher in question called ME lazy.  I wasn't lazy, Mrs. Remillard; I was BORED, NOT CHALLENGED, INTELLECTUALLY UNDERNOURISHED by your lack of skill as a teacher!)  Because of my behavior in that class, I was kept from entering the honors level English class the following year.  That leads me to. . .

3.  I'm neither a leader nor a follower.  I've learned when I should do as I'm told and keep my mouth shut, but I'm still rebellious enough to question authority when I feel it's warranted.  I suppose that means I've matured a bit since the eighth grade.  I still march to my own beat, but I choose my battles more carefully these days.  I love to teach people things then let them loose to do as they will with that knowledge.  Perhaps that's why I've developed such a passion for pattern writing; I can say, "Here's how to make it, now move on!"


4.  I adore children, but have no desire to have any of my own.  My two nephews and one niece fully satisfy any maternal instincts that may bubble to the surface.  I totally get why parents find child rearing so rewarding, but I'm far too selfish to give up my freedom to it.  A male friend once told me I'd have a difficult time finding a husband because I didn't want kids.  In the words of Joy Behar, "I want a man in my life, not in my house."


5.  I'm honest, sometimes to my own detriment.  (Didja' read #4?  That should be proof enough.)


6.  I started writing a novel while I was in college and never finished either one.  You see, I write because I love to write and because it's cathartic, but I have the attention span of a fruit fly.  I took a couple of courses but just couldn't deal with the grind of classes every day when I wanted the freedom to write what I wanted to write instead of the assignments for my classes.  (I left with a GPA of 4.0 and never returned.)


7.  This is a toughie because it's the last one.  So what should I tell you that will leave you satisfied yet wanting more?  I thought about posting one fact that is inappropriately self-serving, but that's a fact I only share with people who decide they want to take a stab at making me feel intellectually inferior.  (I used it a LOT when I was a blonde.)  How's this?  I'm a Buddhist who was raised Roman Catholic.  My "crisis of Faith" began at the age of eight, in Catholic school, when our teacher, Sister Mary Leonette, couldn't answer the "tough questions" to my satisfaction and punished me for asking too many of them.


To be perfectly honest, if you want to know anything else, just ask; I'll probably tell you.  I'm just not always so terrific at volunteering information.


Okay, so I suppose it's time to address requirement #3 and pass this award on to 15 (really? 15? Isn't that bit excessive?) new recipients.  I seriously have to follow my heart here and say no.  What I WILL do is refer you all to the section at the bottom of this page appropriately titled, "I Actually READ Every Blog I Follow!"  Every one of them is worth a read.  I'm sorry, Angel, I just can't do it.  I thought about cutting the number down, but I'd be forcing myself to do something that's truly against my nature.  (Yeah, I was always the one who risked bad luck by not passing on chain letters and I asked my BFF to stop forwarding email jokes to me because all I did was delete them without reading them.)  So many people are sincere in passing these awards to their fellow bloggers, that I feel I should be just as spirited or not do it at all.  Love me or hate me for this decision; it's an honest one and I just made it as I reached the second sentence of this paragraph.